The intolerable compliment

one author that i truly admire and long to be more like is c.s. lewis, a man who was both an intellect and believer. the way he writes about God, always puts me to shame, because my relationship with God is often "I" centered, and completely ignore the indescribable almighty God. I often say, "I wish I knew how to worship God more," or even, "i wish i could trust in Him more," and c.s. lewis takes care of this problem by merely shifting the perspective, bring into light what is more important.

when we want to be something other than the thing God wants us to be, we must be wanting what, in fact, will not make us happy. Those Divine demands which sound to our natural ears most like those of a despot and least like those of a lover, in fact marshall us where we should want to go if we knew what we wanted. He demands our worship, our obedience, our prostration. Do we suppose that they can do Him any good, or fear like the chorus in Milton, that human irreverence can bring about "His glory's diminution"? A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word "darkness" on the wall of his cell. We are bidden to "put on Christ," to become like God. That is, whether we like it or not, God intends to give us what we need, not what we now think we want. Once more, we are embarrassed by the intolerable compliment, by too much love, not too little.

-Clive Staple Lewis

this passage on how we should want what God wants for us, not what we want because what we want isn't what we need nor is good for us, and how what God wants for us is only good is great. But. what i find most compelling about what lewis said is in the last sentence, that we are embarrassed not by the lack of love that God gives us, but by having too much of it. this comparison reminds me of those girls that always go for the bad guys, and no matter how shitty and selfish theses bastards are, these clueless girls have nothing but love for their men. its frustrating I know. and more importantly, its quite embarrassing. thats kind of how it is with God and us, but magnified infinitely. this thought puts me to shame, and the only outlet for my embarrassment is to fall on my knees and worship the One above.