i shall never grow up

innocence is fleeting much faster than i had ever expected. i knew that the loss of innocence was a part of life, but the depravity of the world seems to be stripping us of what is good in us much sooner that those things should be let go. it maybe be nothing, but a cellphone being a necessity for a fourth grader, or even a having a girlfriend and boyfriend at that age is just a little too much for me. i'm not being completely random, but thats what i see when i see my sister's friends. i pray to God that she won't fall into that snare. don't get me wrong, having those things isn't bad. but not for someone that young. of course children will grow and these trivial things will be just as they are, trivial. growing isn't bad. i myself wish i could grow more. its not the passing of time that bothers me, but its the passing of innocence that i fear the most. i always wondered what Holden's deal was- in Catcher in the Rye-, i didn't understand why he cared so much about innocence. maybe its because its the only thing that he had in his life that was good. sometimes i feel like innocence is the only good thing in this world, but the world is in such a damn hurry to get rid of it. what happened to i don't want to grow up, i'm a toys r us kid...

recently i drove up to santa barbara, and my friend made a mix cd with this song called "brighly wound" by eisley, and i fell into love with it as soon as the melody hit my ears. i didn't even know what those two girls were singing, but my heart was immediately drawn into to knowing that there was something special about it. i wanted what the girls were sing about. i later looked up the lyrics, and its all about waking up and not growing up and staying innocent.

but what can we do to stay pure. holden failed to do anything about himself, salinger's solution was to just let go. its hard to stop the world from spinning. all i can really do is hope for the best, listen to this song and dream about better times, and make believe a better place cause as long as i listen to this song i shall never grow up.